Satire

Poll says Japanese-American internment was justified

Credit: Library of Congress

According to a Pew Research poll, nearly 30% of Americans think that the internment of Japanese-Americans during World War II was justified. Another 50% “didn’t care enough to have an opinion” or “had never heard of it, but thought it sounded fake.” 

Some extreme liberals believe internment was justified, claiming it was the most progressive legislation of Roosevelt’s presidency. 

“Starting in 1942, FDR basically gave an entire minority group government-subsidized housing and 24/7 security for four years,” Professor Alicia Keaton of Duke University explained on Twitter. “Sure, there were sacrifices to privacy and property. But Japanese-American internment was truly one of the few great milestones of American history.” 

Meanwhile, extreme conservatives believe internment was justified in order to protect national security. 

“The Japanese were a threat to our way of life back then, just like some minority groups today are,” said Steven Watson, a controversial right-wing BitChute streamer. “At least back then the government had the balls to put Americans first. On an unrelated note, vaccine mandates are fascist.”

Political scientist Robert Hauser explained the implications of this new poll in an interview. 

“Political opinions in this country are simply becoming more and more ludicrous,” he said. “Our classical assumption of the public as rational actors has fallen away rapidly — there’s no way to engage with public opinion in a meaningful way anymore. Quite frankly, I should be out of a job and on the streets begging for change.” 

Recently, a high school speech contest on the topic of Japanese-American internment went viral on YouTube. Commenters found one student’s inelegantly articulated anti-internment position particularly hilarious. At the climax of the video, the student from the Springfield Independent School District said:  

“To those Americans who feel that internment was wrong… to those Americans who believe that we should help marginalized people and protect our country while respecting other peoples’ rights… it’s not too late to organize to make this world a better place.” 

The video was spammed with laughing emojis, slurs, and death threats. At publishing time, the like-to-dislike ratio stands at 1:9; Youtube officials are encouraging the public to increase that ratio.

Overall, this poll and subsequent events reveal that many moderate Americans are having a hard time telling the difference between news and satire. The ramifications of this in the future may prove tragic, but incredibly funny.

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